jerkidiot:

yeah…im tough….i’ve got some scars…..*shows u my belly button* this one i got from being in the womb for 9 months….had to remove my umbilical cord…rough times but im still standing…

(via fake-mermaid)

Tuesday, April 22 with 74,734 notes

trillow:

"hello 911 i’d like to report a murder in th-" "haha, wow you’re a little snitch. hold on a sec. HEY DAVE, CHECK OUT THIS FUCKIN SNITCH ON LINE THREE"

(via fake-mermaid)

Tuesday, April 22 with 385,196 notes

breakburnandends:

[doesnt talk to you] [sees your selfie] dam wassup

(via fake-mermaid)

Tuesday, April 22 with 72,862 notes

ionlyfollowbadblogs:

Turn ons: common sense

(Source: ionlyfollowbadblogs, via fake-mermaid)

Tuesday, April 22 with 107,343 notes

jimsturgess:

today someone passed me a paper and i said “thank” and they said “did you just say thank” and then i realized dorothy we’re not on the internet anymore

(Source: matthitarchive, via fake-mermaid)

Tuesday, April 22 with 127,059 notes

larrycoincidences:

do you ever have a plan for the day and suddenly it’s 4pm and you’ve achieved literally nothing 

(via s-un-rise)

Tuesday, April 22 with 279,338 notes
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